I'll Be Waiting
by Purity Control
Summary: A short story that takes place after M&S escape from the ship in FTF.


[numbinside.net][1]  
  


* * *

**i'll be waiting**  


* * *

  
I can still feel the ground trembling beneath my body. Or perhaps it is the shuddering of my insides as I lay there on the ice, frozen to the core and trying desperately to never let Mulder go. But I can feel him shaking, his lips icy with the cold blue of the Arctic chill that shackles our bones with its deathly grip.  
  
I cradle his unconscious form in my arms and try to suppress the tears that are crawling in my eyes. Don't cry, Dana. He won't want you to cry. He'll cast you that puppy-dog look and then wrap his strong arms around you in a hug that says, _It's gonna be okay._  
  
Not this time. He's not stirring from his sleep, and I don't see those beautiful hazel eyes opening and gazing at me with such love, such adoration. I can't feel his warmth, only the faint pulse of his weak heart as the overwhelming exhausation and cold envelopes tightly around him. Choking him.  
  
Finally, the salty drops are too much and they spill out in rivulets. They sting my frostbitten cheeks and I can't stop them.  
  
"Mulder," I whisper, my voice cracked with the soreness of my throat. "You can't leave me. Wake up. Mulder, please wake up." I feel as though my will alone can open those soft eyelids and hear his entrancing voice speak to me.  
  
I know now it's too late.  
  
I choke on my tears, and the lump that hovers in my throat. "No," I whimper. "No, no, no.." All I can do is utter that one word as I burst out into hoarse sobbing.  
  
I pull his body to me, crying hysterically in the wet mane of brown hair. The loose strands tickle my face, and his head burrowed pitifully in my grasp. His limp body sprawls out, unable to feel my tears and embrace.  
  
A low whistling hissed in my ears. The breeze echoed in the vast, empty void.  
  
I never have ever felt so alone.  
  
I hold Mulder's hand for strength, intertwining my slender fingers with his. And suddenly, in the wind, I can hear his voice.  
  
"_I'll be waiting._"  
  
  
I quietly let myself into his apartment. The funeral was beautiful, but I hated it so much. During the eulogy, I couldn't stop crying. No one could blame me.  
  
I glance at the aquarium. The little fish happily swam about in their aquatic cage. I go over and tap some flakes into the water, watching them hungrily flap their fins and suck some of the food down.  
  
It feels so cold and gooseflesh pimpled my skin. But I know I'm not alone. I walk to his bathroom and stop the drain. I turn the cold water knob on full force and it gushes out like waterfall. It pounds into the tub and I go lie on his couch to wait.  
  
I can still smell his scent lingering on the cushions. It smells so wonderful and I stroke the leather covering. I lay there for sometime.  
  
The couch squeaks as I get up and I wander into the kitchen. I open up the freezer and am pleased to find blue plastic bags of ice. Two by two, I pile them in my arms and carry them to the bathroom. I rip the plastic away and dump ice in by the pound. They splash in and bounce up, floating around in their new home.  
  
After every single ice cube has taken shelter in the bathtub, I take no time and hurry to the thermostat. I flick the little dial to the coldest it can get and skip back into the bathroom. I strip off my clothes until I am naked.   
  
I slide my leg into the half-filled tub and shiver at the freezing temperature of the water. I step in my other leg and lay down. The water reaches to my breasts, and my nipples instantly harden. Already, I can feel my skin tinting a lovely shade of blue.  
  
The air conditioner hums softly as it kicks in. A cool gust of wind dribbles out from the vent above the tub. I sigh, resting my head against the side of the bathtub. The water slowly creeps to my ribs and the tiny icebergs float around my chest, piercing me with their sharp, frigid points.  
  
Higher and higher it goes, and I can barely feel my body. My hands and feet are now evolving to a light lavendar and my breathing is decreasing with each second. I close my eyes and just before the frosty water closed over my head, I hear him whisper.  
  
"_I'll be waiting._"

   [1]: http://www.numbinside.net



End file.
